The reason I am celibate...

[blazingwen]

I've had trouble in the past, so now i am going to be celibate till i get a boyfriend. But even then he will have to wait 1-3 months. I have been celibate for 15 months, but i'm sure i'll be able to go another 4-5 months just fine.

[shadowman (deleted)]

I've been Celibate for over a year now, at first it was my worst nightmare because my friends have all said that i must be plain stupid to do it.


for the first month i found that it was the hardest choice ill ever make the reasons for this is because you see the world in a different way.
1. you find that talking to women is a lot harder than it ever was.
2. your friends boast constantly about how many different s----l positions they managed to do last night.
3. every time you meet a nice women and they want to do the business & you don't they tell everyone your gay!
4. testosterone levels are so high that Anger management is needed or you end up going to the gym twice a day trying to get rid of so much tension.

but there are so many benefits!
1. not everything evolves around S-- no more!
2. you never get a complaint about how bad in bed you are!
3. women talk to you more knowing that you do really want to be friends and are not trying to jump into bed with them!
4. YOUR FREINDS ENVEY YOU! (this is the most important because if they cant get any action they constantly complain and suffer! YOU on the other hand have survived and have proved them wrong)

My reason for being Celibate is not for medical reasons or Religous reasons or because im bad in bed.
its because I WANT TO and im HAPPY to be Celibate!

[jalars_PREV (deleted)]

First, I've been celibate, neither involuntary or voluntary, since about 1996 or so. If I really wanted to get laid, I could, and without paying for it or reaching really down low. On the other hand, I'm really busy and frankly finding reasonable relationships does take up a huge amount of time (many months) and effort for me, and I just can't justify this in my own mind.

Also, I've had many relationships -- some have gone on for years but I just couldn't, when decision-time came, agree to live together or marry

Rather than have women mad at me after several years for not even being willing to live together, I've just given up.

Now my question -- how prevalent is celibacy? I read an article several years ago that was really surprising -- it is quite prevalent. But I know I'll never find this article.

I stumbled across this one between the /== and \== a few hours ago. I think it vastly understates the prevalence of celibacy as compared to the above article (which I can't find), but anyway here it is.

/===================================
(removed)
one researcher found that as many as 16% of married couples had not engaged in s----l intercourse in the month prior to a representative national survey of U.S. residents (Donnelly, 1993). Another group of researchers reported that 14% of men and 10% of women in the U.S. had not had any s----l activity involving genital contact in the past 12 months, and that 3% had none since their 18th birthdays (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, & Michaels, 1994).
\=====================================

I really think the above is way way way way low. Just counting elderly widows / women with no partners (there is a huge mismatch in numbers of females / males over age 65) would exceed the above numbers.

Aside: some of you might find the "Alternatives To Marriage Project" at unmarried.org interesting. They have a low volume discussion mailing list.

[mobileal_PREV (deleted)]

Hi Blazingwen,

Do you find yourself wanting to satisfy old memories of what are fictitiously "all great memories" that make you ache to have it again? If so, what do you do about it? I'm not talking s----l so self gratification is not the answer. I sometimes think I want to be in a relationship, but shortly I remember that the relationships I've ever had were better in my mind than in reality. Sometimes I just get really lonely and want to lay in someone's arms or just be held and feel their warth with nothing too s----l if at all. I am straight, but even the love I felt with an old female friend entices me to think about alternative lifestyles. When reality sets in, I realize everyone in any type of relationship has problems. It's how we deal with it that makes the difference between breaking up and a lasting relationship.

Jayni

[yourarsenal]

I have been celibate my entire life. It's interesting to see so many people who just decide to turn it on or off, like a switch. To me it's the only thing I've ever known and it's just odd seeing some have such a casual approach to it.

Not that there is anything wrong with that, if it suits you, then fantastic. It is just odd to me. Still, it's interesting to see others have gone down this path as well. In todays se---lly charged world it's almost refreshing to know this.

[pulphero33]

.
My situation is that I simply have never had the chance. It's as simple as that.

I have never had much luck with women, so that was a factor, but eventually it just became part of who I am. I used to be ashamed of it, but now I wear my virginity as a badge of honor. Why should I be ashamed of it?

[cocoaberryc_PREV (deleted)]

Hello, I have been reading the post and find it very interesting to openly talk about being celibate. As someone else stated I too use to be ashamed of my ....I still can't call myself the v-word but I am not ashamed of it anymore. I just will not openly admit it not even to my gynecologist! But I'm sure he's figured it out by now.

I am celibate for religious reasons and once dated a man who respected that and also once dated a man who did not respect that, but thankfully I am a big girl and could handle him and too, God heard my prayers.

I think being celibate gives people a chance to develope deep meaningful relationships with out the pressure of s--. I always tell people "move slow, they you'll know who your dating"

I have been celibate all my life and know nothing of what "real" S-- must be like---so even though I am curious, I have no idea what I am missing. On the other hand some of you have been s----ly active and have for whatever reason decided to go celibate. You do know what you are missing and still choose this path. Kudos to you and may you find what it is your looking for on your journey.

CocoaBerry

[oddmanout]

Nice to see more people posting on here! I have also been celibate for life. I used to think it was only because no one wanted me, but then I started poking around the dark corners of the Internet and well, let's just say I discovered I could get laid if I was desperate enough. At that point I realized my celibacy was a choice, so I decided to own that choice. Like most other people I also want a non-sexual partner but I realize that's a longshot.

And yeah, I think celibacy is more common than people realize.

[cocoaberryc_PREV (deleted)]

You are right, I belive celibacy is more common than many of us think. I too have surfed the net and found that their is someone or thing for everyone.

In this world of soulmates, significant others, lovers, friends ---- -------- so on and so on...there is little mention of old fashion Platonic (excuse my spelling) relationships.

There has often been this stigma that if you are celibate you are undesirable or defected which is not true---there are many reasons for celibacy.

I remember dating a guy and almost having S-- with him just to prove that I was "normal" Thank goodness I did not go thru with that foolishness, but I wonder how many people do-- Feel presured to blend in with society inspite of what they feel in their heart and gut.

I stopped dating years ago because I decided that celibacy and dating don't really mix for me. You are up front about your choice in life and they say "cool" but later get hot about it when you remind them that you really did mean no when you said no in the beginning.

[moonstar]

`I have been celibate for life as well. There is alot of pressure to be s----l today and celibacy is not seen as a legit choice in this day and age. Society sees celibates as se---lly repressed due to religious upbringing or aversive to S-- because of s----l abuse that may have happened in childhood and see asexuals as being somehow on an autistic spectrum or lacking testosterone. The irony is that if people were to stop prejudging and labelling they will find a group of people who are alot wiser than most and whose choices and feelings are quite normal.

[yastaloco]

As a misanthropist I'm a misogynist( yes, believe it or not, women are human beings ). Besides, I think that satisfaction obtained from S-- is extremely ephimeral, so I just see in it only one pro, that is, as I just said, ephimeral satisfaction. On the other side, there are many cons and risks: accidental pregnancies, infectious diseases, lack of mutual love, infidelity, deception, jelaousy, etc. All this keep me off s----l intercourse and probably makes me the horniest man in the world.

[timidsoul]

Hi:

My reasons are a combo of staunchly adhering to my personal principles & standards and having no access/appeal to those I'd consider pursuing, in addition to avoiding many of the unfortunate consequences likely to result from casual s--.

"I do not seek to make over nor be made over by anyone" is basically my bottom line.

[trumanj]

I arrived at a celibate lifestyle through a combination of circumstance and choice (conviction). A couple of years ago I sat myself down and made a decision to either go out and seek or to be content with who I am. In a sense, internally, that day I got married to celibacy - if that makes any sense. It was like a commitment of sorts which I consider as permanent and binding on me as a marriage covenant should be.

[sacredsorceress (deleted)]

`I am pretty much celibate by nature. I go many years without s--. And when I do have sex, having it just a few times is sufficient. But I love romance, hugging, cuddling, caressing, etc. -- can't get enough of that! I love to be touched.

[kujayhawker1973 (deleted)]

I choose to be celibate because it takes a lot of pressure off of focusing only on S-- in an intimate relationship. Take S-- out of the mix and you get something pure and beautiful.[/b]

Debra